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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28655100">cloud nine</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slice_of_Apple/pseuds/Slice_of_Apple'>Slice_of_Apple</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angry Eren Yeager, Angry Jean Kirstein, Angry Kissing, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Enemies to Lovers, Eren Yeager is a Little Shit, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Idiots in Love, Jean Kirstein is a Little Shit, M/M, Modern Era, Plot doesn't necessarily make sense, Romance, jean gets his heart stomped on a bit, only a little bit of smut, sad Jean</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 03:24:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,576</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28655100</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slice_of_Apple/pseuds/Slice_of_Apple</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean asks Eren to be his fake boyfriend. What could go wrong?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jean Kirstein/Eren Yeager, Jean Kirstein/Willy Tybur</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>246</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>cloud nine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I  couldn’t call him Willy - every time I wrote it I wanted to laugh and it killed the mood. So here, he’s Will Tybur even though I know that’s not his proper name. Maybe I’ll change it back to Willy. </p>
<p>Also, this was supposed to be super fluffy but then got more angsty and angry. There isn't much smut, only a little bit.</p>
<p>----------------------</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>              “Why am I doing this?” whines Eren. Eren almost never whines – anger is his default mode. He must be truly uncomfortable.  </p>
<p>              But Jean doesn’t want him to back out now, not when they’re so close. So he pulls out the big guns.</p>
<p>              “You’re my best frenemy, Jaeger. If I can’t ask you, who can I ask?”</p>
<p>              Eren is still looking at Jean with that glint in his eye, like he’s about to do something as crazy as refuse to go, so Jean adds, “Plus, you’re smoking hot.” It’s the truth, of course, but Jean would never have said it out loud if he wasn’t desperate.</p>
<p>              “I – <em>what?”</em> Eren is plainly not expecting this.</p>
<p>              “Don’t play dumb with me,” admonishes Jean, who now has no choice but to run with it. “Not when everyone and their mother is always panting after you with their tongues hanging out.”</p>
<p>              Eren actually steps backwards, his jaw slack. He is well and truly floored. It is not often that Eren is rendered speechless. Jean wishes he could enjoy it more, but he’s got other things on his mind right now.  He cocks his head, taking Eren in from top to bottom.</p>
<p>              “You want me to say it again?” he asks absently, reaching in to pick a speck off Eren’s shirt. “Now you’re fishing for compliments.”</p>
<p>              “No. No! I don’t want you to say it again. That’s just weird, Kirstein.”</p>
<p>              “Well, it’s true. You’re super hot and you know it. You’re so hot you’re going to turn Will into a limp puddle of jealous goo.”</p>
<p>              Although Eren thinks that this is an elaborate plot contrived solely to make Will suffer with unfulfilled longing, that isn’t all of it. Jean has it all worked out. Will is going to see Eren [pretend] lusting after Jean and remember how much <em>he</em> wants Jean. And then <em>Will </em>will come after Jean with<em> his</em> tongue hanging out. But Jean won’t give in right away, no sirree. He’ll make Will yearn for it, work for it, <em>beg</em> for it. Only then will Jean go to him.</p>
<p>              “I still think this is a bad idea,” Eren grumbles.</p>
<p>              “You’re probably right. But you already promised. And if there’s one thing true in this world, it’s that Noble Eren Jeager always keeps his promises.”</p>
<p>              Jean frowns – there’s something not quite right. Ah, that’s it. He leans in and unbuttons Eren’s top button. “Yeah,” he mutters to himself, “definitely better. And maybe…” He moves in again, quickly unbuttoning the cuffs of Eren’s shirt and rolling the sleeves expertly up.  Eren is apparently still too shocked to shove him away, and Jean gets away with manhandling him unimpeded.</p>
<p>              He steps back to admire his handiwork. The changes make the outfit way more casual, but Eren can pull it off – those arms! That warm, golden skin! Who wouldn’t be consumed with the desire to touch it?</p>
<p>              “You’re welcome for the shirt, by the way,” he adds. It’s a black shirt, shot through with the faintest hint of a green that shimmers ever so slightly under the lamplight. It’s a perfect fit, too, not too tight but hugging Eren’s body in all the right places.</p>
<p>              Eren snorts. “I’m not thanking you for the shirt you only got me so you could exact revenge in the stupidest way possible. You know what goes around, comes around, right? You’re pushing your karma so far to the dark side there’s no way in hell it’s not going to come back to bite you in the ass.”</p>
<p>              “Awww, Eren, your sunny disposition is as uplifting as always. But enough idle chit chat. Are you gonna do this right?” This last in a stern tone.</p>
<p>              “You mean am I going to hang all over you making googly eyes, pretending that I’m looking forward to hot, steamy sex as soon as we leave the party?”</p>
<p>              “Exactly!” says Jean, his eyes bright. “There<em> is</em> a brain up there.” He taps Eren’s forehead. “You’re not just a pretty face after all, are you?”</p>
<p>              Eren swats his hand away angrily. “Would you shut up?” he growls.</p>
<p>              “And if Will doesn’t cream his pants at the sight of us, you haven’t done your job properly.”</p>
<p>              Eren rolls his eyes. “You really are  pathetic, you know that?”</p>
<p>              “Of course I know that. If I ever forget, I’m sure you’ll be happy to remind me. But for right now, remember that you’re so hopelessly in love that you can’t keep your hands off me, even for a second.”</p>
<p>              Eren shakes his head in exasperation.</p>
<p>              Jean leans in and smooths the shoulders of Eren’s shirt. He can’t help noticing that the sleek, thin fabric feels very nice on Eren’s firm body.</p>
<p>              “Maybe you should worry about your own appearance,” grumbles Eren.</p>
<p>              “Will already knows how hot<em> I</em> am.<em> You’re</em> the surprise tonight.”</p>
<p>              Eren rolls his eyes.</p>
<p>              “Hey, I’m doing you a favor, too,” adds Jean. “The next time you want to get someone, just wear this shirt, okay? I’m not kidding. You’ll knock their socks off. But not tonight. Tonight is about me.”</p>
<p>               “Isn’t it always about you?” Een asks drily.</p>
<p>              “Says the guy around whom the world turns. Plus, I know you’re immune to my charms.” It’s said casually, almost indifferently, but Eren stiffens.  It’s always there, underneath everything, that final, awful awkwardness - despite all they’ve done to move past it.</p>
<p>              He quickly changes the subject. “I take it you’re driving?”</p>
<p>              “Of course,” says Jean, holding up the keys to the Tesla he rented for the night.</p>
<p>              “You’re such a pretentious prick,” says Eren, as Jean unlocks the door. “If I hadn’t already promised to help you out tonight, I’d punch you for it.”</p>
<p>              Jean looks at him thoughtfully. “I should extract promises from you more often.”</p>
<p>              Eren gives him the finger as he climbs into the car.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>              Jean’s still not used to the car. When he backs up, he narrowly misses the lamppost on Eren’s side</p>
<p>              “Shit!” cries Eren. “Would you watch where you’re going? I did not agree to put my life on the line for this stupid charade!”</p>
<p>              “Relax!” says Jean. “I saw it! And tonight’s not a stupid charade – it’s gonna be fantastic!”</p>
<p>              Eren stares out his window. Contrary to Jean’s words, he knows it’s going to be bad. It’s just a question of how bad.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>              When they drop off the car with the valet, Jean pulls them to the side of the walkway for a moment, taking several deep breaths in and out.</p>
<p>              “Okay,” he says eventually. “We can go.” He grabs Eren’s hand, lacing their fingers together.</p>
<p>              “You’re nervous!” exclaims Eren.</p>
<p>              “No, I’m not!” Jean protests automatically, but it’s a weak protest.</p>
<p>              “Yes, you are!” Eren says with certainty. He adds, slowly, “This is more than just making him feel like shit for dumping you, isn’t it?”</p>
<p>              “No!” Jean protests, again weakly.</p>
<p>              “Don’t try to deny it,” says Eren complacently. He’s sure now. “I know you.” It’s true. Eren probably knows Jean better than anyone outside of his family. Maybe more than his family, in some respects. “You want to get back together with him.” It’s not a question.</p>
<p>              There is a silence. But there’s no point in pretending.</p>
<p>              “Maybe,” Jean mutters.</p>
<p>              “Didn't he cheat on you before he dumped you?”</p>
<p>              “So?” says Jean belligerently.</p>
<p>              “And did any of us see him the entire time you guys were dating? Did he ever actually go out in public with you?”</p>
<p>              Jean’s silence hangs heavy in the air.</p>
<p>              “This guy is a loser, Kirstein. Even <em>you</em> deserve better than him.”</p>
<p>              But Jean did not bring Eren here for his advice. “Thank you for your opinion,” he says calmly. “Shall we?”</p>
<p>              Eren sighs. But he’s all dressed up, they’re at the house, and he <em>did</em> promise. He allows Jean to pull him forward into the disaster that awaits.</p>
<p>             </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>              The house is huge. A mansion, really – maybe almost a castle. And, like any good aristocrat, the guy – Eren instantly knows it’s him by the way Jean stiffens – is at the entryway, greeting his guests.</p>
<p>              “Will.”</p>
<p>              “Jean?” It’s said in astonishment. “I only sent that invite to be polite. I didn’t think you’d come.”</p>
<p>              Eren’s eyes widen at the blunt rudeness. What the hell?  Why would Jean ever want to get back together with such an asshole?  Eren takes a closer look at him. Yeah, the guy might be beautiful, in a heroin-chic sort of way, with his androgynous, angular features. To Eren, however, he looks like a vampire, and not in a good way – all pasty, dead-white, emaciated flesh.</p>
<p>              Jean’s smile is very tight on his face. Eren is impressed with the evenness of his tone when he replies, “Nice to see you, too, Will.”</p>
<p>              His words remind Eren that he has a job to do. He squeezes Jean’s hand once, very tightly, then lets go so he can wrap his arm around Jean’s shoulder. He leans in for a quick kiss to Jean's cheek before turning to herd him inside. Out of the corner of his eye he sees Will freeze at the sight.  </p>
<p>              Once they’re in, Jean immediately says, “I’ll go get drinks.”</p>
<p>              Eren nods. As he looks around the room, he’s glad to see that the dress code is obviously free form: some of the guests are wearing suits as expensive-looking as Will’s, but others are dressed casually. A few people are even wearing jeans and T-shirts. </p>
<p>              This doesn’t diminish from the lavishness of the affair, though. In addition to being an asshole, Will is plainly loaded.</p>
<p>              Eren snags some hors-d’oevres from a passing tray and takes a bite of what seems to be some fancy fish-pastry combo. He nearly gasps at the taste – it’s incredible. He hotfoots it after the server and grabs another two, one for himself and one for Jean.  He might as well get <em>something</em> good out of this night.</p>
<p>              He settles back against the wall, idly people-watching as he eats the delicious food.  All he has to do is get through the next few hours.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>              Jean has finally moved up to the front of the long line and is waiting while the bartender pours his drinks. He shifts away when a body slides up next to him.</p>
<p>              A voice, so low Jean has to strain to hear the words: “Will I have the pleasure of your cock tonight, Jean?”</p>
<p>              Jean’s head whips around. <em>Will</em>.  </p>
<p>              A sudden series of images flashes unbidden into Jean’s mind: of his hands gripping Will’s slender, white hips, hard enough to bruise; of Will’s back arched voluptuously, golden hair falling like a sheet around his bowed head; of Will letting out small, mewling grunts as Jean thrusts wildly into him, like a fucking dog; of Jean’s own hand reaching in to grab a fistful of that silken hair and yank Will’s head around for a biting kiss. </p>
<p>              Jean swallows thickly and blinks, trying to disperse the memories.</p>
<p>              Will can obviously see the excitement in Jean’s eyes. He says, “Or perhaps, you would like to be on the receiving end for a change?” A long slender finger runs casually around the curve of Jean’s ass.</p>
<p>              Jean lets out an involuntary hiss.</p>
<p>              Will’s eyes glitter. He leans in even closer, until his body is pressed into Jean’s. Will smells of alcohol, his expensive cologne, and that unique scent that is Will’s alone. How many times has Jean inhaled that mixture, groaning Will’s name out as he comes?</p>
<p>              He can feel himself getting hard. <em>Shit.</em> No! He refuses to let Will play him like this. Tonight is on <em>Jean’s</em> terms.</p>
<p>              At that moment, like a divine intervention, the drinks are plunked down in front of Jean. Grasping hold of the cool glass, Jean takes a deep breath. “Goodbye, Will.” It takes more will-power than he thought he possessed to walk away.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>              It’s a relief to see Eren propped up against the wall, chewing. He holds out Eren’s drink at the same time Eren says, “Here,” placing something directly into Jean’s open mouth. Jean hastily chokes it down.</p>
<p>              “What the hell, Jaeger?”</p>
<p>              “It’s good, isn’t it?”</p>
<p>              “Not when it’s stuffed down my throat,” complains Jean.</p>
<p>              “Whatever else I have to say about that guy, he knows how to throw a party. Wanna dance?” Eren points to the heavy, closed doors, through which the unmistakable sound of a heavy beat is making its way.</p>
<p>              “Nah,” says Jean, shaking his head.</p>
<p>              “Since we’re here, we might as well have fun,” wheedles Eren. He loves to dance. “Aren’t I supposed to be draped all over you the whole night? How am I gonna do that when I’m dancing and you’re not?”</p>
<p>              Jean shakes his head.</p>
<p>              “The music sounds great. You’ll have fun. I promise!”</p>
<p>              Jean can’t help smiling. Eren is like a border collie – he’ll keep herding people in the direction he wants them to go, no matter how much they protest. Jean doesn’t really mind. He also likes dancing. And it would be a good distraction from Will.</p>
<p>              They both quickly down their drinks and Jean allows himself to be led through the heavy, wooden doors and onto the makeshift dance floor.</p>
<p>              The music <em>is</em> great. Soon, Jean is lost in the pounding beat. He had forgotten how fun it is to do this with Eren. By no stretch of the imagination is Eren a good dancer, but his obvious enjoyment is infectious. They have a fantastic time, bopping up and down and around to the heavy thump of the bass.</p>
<p>              When they finally leave the crowded dance floor, they’re both hot, sweaty, and having a way better time than either one of them had thought was possible. Eren has a hand on Jean’s shoulder, leaning into him, laughing.</p>
<p>              Then he stops abruptly and says, “I’m gonna catch some air outside, okay?” This is not unusual behavior. Eren not infrequently has these sudden needs for air, for space, where he has to <em>get away</em> for a few minutes. Away from a crowd.</p>
<p>              “Want company, or you want to be alone?” asks Jean. This, too, is a routine question. Sometimes at these moments Eren wants to be by himself, and sometimes he doesn’t.</p>
<p>              Eren shrugs. “Company. I guess.”</p>
<p>              “You guess?” asks Jean, knocking his own shoulder into Eren's. But he leads Eren on a circuitous route to one of the many porches that encircle the enormous house. This one is far enough away from the main party that Jean thinks it will be empty of other guests.</p>
<p>              It is. The glass door must be double paned, because as Jean slides it shut, the noise dramatically decreases.</p>
<p>              It’s nice outside, a slight breeze drying the sweat on their skin.</p>
<p>              Eren leans against the house, looking up at the night sky.  </p>
<p>              “That was fun,” says Jean quietly. “Thanks for coming. I know you didn’t want to.”</p>
<p>              “No problem. That<em> was</em> fun,” Eren shrugs. “And the food is fantastic.”</p>
<p>              They’re both quiet for a moment, lost in their own thoughts.</p>
<p>              “Hey,” says Eren eventually.</p>
<p>              “Hmm?” asks Jean, turning towards him. Somehow, they are now standing very close to each other.</p>
<p>              Eren’s eyes are enormous in the moonlight. He’s staring up at Jean.</p>
<p>              Jean blinks several times, staring back. Then he shakes himself and says, “I’m heading back in.” He doesn’t wait to see if Eren is following as he re-enters the house.</p>
<p>             </p>
<p>             </p>
<p>             </p>
<p>              By the time Eren finds Jean again, lounging in a dim corner, Eren is ready to leave. It’s just as well. Jean has made up his mind.  </p>
<p>              “You can drive the car home.” He stuffs the valet ticket into Eren's pocket. “I’m going to… hang out here a little longer. I’ll get a Lyft home later.”</p>
<p>              “You’re actually going to fuck that asshole?”</p>
<p>              Jean is taken aback at the anger in Eren’s voice. “What’s it to you?” he asks, genuinely curious.</p>
<p>              “Not only is he a pretentious snob, this is an engagement party! Will Tybur’s engagement to Colt Grice.” Eren holds up a thick, incriminating card with the announcement engraved on it. He stabs at it with his forefinger.</p>
<p>              Jean’s expression doesn’t change.</p>
<p>              “But you already knew that, didn’t you?” hisses Eren venomously, having received all the confirmation he needed. “Are you trying to break them up? Just like someone did to you?”            </p>
<p>              Jean’s face closes over. “It’s none of your business, Jaeger.”</p>
<p>              Eren doesn’t stop. “Or are you going to be the bit on the side?”</p>
<p>              Jean’s jaw clenches.</p>
<p>              “The one his chauffeur drives to the summer house for the odd hour here and there?”</p>
<p>              “Shut up."</p>
<p>              “I thought you were better than that, Kirstein.”</p>
<p>              “Shut the fuck up,” says Jean in a deadly voice.</p>
<p>              Eren moves up, crowding into Jean’s space, backing him into the wall. Once again, their faces are very close together. Eren’s eyes are right in front of his, Eren’s full, red mouth only inches from his.</p>
<p>              Suddenly, Jean doesn’t quite know how it’s happened, the party has faded away. It’s just the two of them, standing too close to each other. All thoughts of Will are gone.</p>
<p>              And then - Eren’s lips on his are warm and surprisingly soft.  </p>
<p>              Jean finds his hands coming up around Eren. The shirt is damp with sweat, but still smooth. He can feel the contours of Eren’s back beneath the thin fabric.</p>
<p>               “Eren?” Jean asks, into Eren’s mouth. His voice is raspy.</p>
<p>              Eren only leans in harder. Eren’s mouth is open now, his tongue sliding against Jean’s. Eren tastes like vodka, and shrimp, and Eren’s own sweet taste, the taste Jean still remembers so well, the taste he’s tried so hard to forget. And he knows he should be resisting, pushing Eren away, but it’s so hard, when that age-old longing sweeps over him once again, like it did that very first time. It was a time very much like this one, in fact, Eren pushing him into a wall, hot against him, both of them sweaty.</p>
<p>              And… shit. It’s like a glass of ice water over Jean’s head. That didn’t end well, and this won’t either.</p>
<p>              He shoves Eren roughly away from him. “Eren, what the hell?”</p>
<p>              Eren’s voice is breathy as he says, “You said I was supposed to be all over you,”</p>
<p>              “But not like <em>that.</em> Will’s not even watching.”</p>
<p>              “He might be.”</p>
<p>              “He’s not.”</p>
<p>              “You liked it,” says Eren.</p>
<p>              “So what? That’s nothing new. But you tell me, Eren, why do <em>you </em>like it now? Just because someone else thinks I’m hot, now you want to make out? Get each other off when we get home, then act like it was all a mistake?”</p>
<p>              He exhales sharply when Eren looks away. “Well, maybe I want to be with someone who’s <em>sure </em>he wants to fuck. Who’s not going to wake up the next morning and pretend nothing happened.”</p>
<p>              Eren doesn’t answer for a moment. When he finally does, he surprises Jean. “Why did you ask me here, Kirstein?”</p>
<p>              “I told you. Because you’re my best frien- frenemy. And I knew you would make Will jealous.”</p>
<p>              “Don’t give me that shit. Why did you ask me?”</p>
<p>              “I told you why,” he says mulishly, but he drops his eyes.</p>
<p>              “Why did you ask me?” Eren is relentless.</p>
<p>              “I – I don’t know,” Jean finally admits.</p>
<p>              “I think you do know.” Eren’s voice is soft but very sure. “I think you asked me because you wanted to make <em>me</em> jealous.”</p>
<p>              Jean’s head shoots up. His jaw drops. Typical!</p>
<p>              “Fuck you, Eren! How dare you! Why do you always make everything about <em>you</em>?”  </p>
<p>             Eren continues  as though Jean hasn't spoken. "And maybe it worked." His eyes are burning into Jean's. He surges up. This time the kiss is heavy, harsh, almost angry. Jean feels like he’s going to drown in it.</p>
<p>              Jean uses his last bit of desperate strength to step back, push Eren away.</p>
<p>              “I'm not falling for that bullshit again. Get <em>off </em>me!” he cries out.</p>
<p>              Pain flickers briefly across Eren's face.</p>
<p>              “Can you get it through your head that I don't want you?” Again, that flicker of pain. But Jean doesn't care, and he doesn't stop. His voice is cold as he adds, "I thought you understood that your job here was to pretend. Not to kiss me for <em>real</em>!”</p>
<p>              At this, Eren’s face relaxes. A split second before he speaks, Jean knows what’s coming, tries to get ready, to shield himself. It’s not enough time.</p>
<p>              “Who said it was real?”</p>
<p>              The words drop like stones into Jean’s chest, crushing his ribcage. He falls back, breathing raggedly. And all the anger, frustration, and hurt, from years ago, still there, simmering under the surface, swells up in him, into his fist. He swings fast and high.</p>
<p>              Eren steps back and to the side just enough that it’s only a glancing blow, not the jawbreaker it was intended to be.</p>
<p>              Still, Jean can see that Eren is angry now. Not the usual, almost playful anger that courses through him all the time. This is ugly, bristling anger, his face a blotchy red, his hand trembling as it clenches into a hard fist. The kind of fist that can break bones.</p>
<p>              Eren lets the fist fly, full force. It catches Jean in the gut and he hits the wall with a crack.</p>
<p>              Through the shock – will he ever be able to breathe again? – Jean hears the loud, crisp snap of fingers.</p>
<p>              Head snapping up, he sees two guards appear out of the crowd, wrap their burly arms around Eren’s flailing ones, and bustle him efficiently towards the door.</p>
<p>             </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>              The last thing Eren sees before he’s wrenched around is Jean curled into the wall, Will bent over him.</p>
<p>             </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>             </p>
<p>              “You’re with someone,” Jean says to Will, once he has the breath to speak.</p>
<p>              The party has folded back around them, the momentary disturbance forgotten.</p>
<p>              “No, I’m not,” says Will. “That is a relationship of convenience. Colt has been… persuaded to play the part. I have no interest in him.  And you belong with me, Jean. You do see that, don't you?”<br/>             </p>
<p>             </p>
<p> </p>
<p>              They end up in the study, where Jean has been oh-so-many times before. They are both on their knees, Will bent over the thick, luxurious rug with his ass tilted in the air, cheeks spread, Jean drilling into him.  Jean has another flash of vivid memory, and all of the sudden the back in front of him is far more muscular, the hair a warm, dark brown, the ass plumper. He comes so hard it takes his breath away all over again.</p>
<p>              Then, collapsed across Will’s back, he reaches under to pump Will’s long, thin cock until Will explodes into his hand.</p>
<p>              They stay like that for a few seconds, both panting, before Will nudges him off.</p>
<p>              Will stands up briskly, grabbing the wet cloth that is always mysteriously and conveniently waiting for him on these occasions. He wipes himself clean. Jean wonders, briefly, what would have happened if he hadn’t come tonight, who would have been sitting here in his place, watching Will efficiently slip into his cool, elegant clothes. He leans back on his heels, trying to catch his breath. Will’s come is sticky in his hand.</p>
<p>              Will smooths his jacket and says, without looking at Jean, “My driver will pick you up tomorrow at 6 to take you to the lake cabin. You’ll be home by 10.” He doesn’t even wait for a reply, merely steps out of the room, closing the door softly behind himself.</p>
<p>              Jean delicately peels off the condom and places it gingerly in the engraved trash can.  He doesn’t know why he’s being meticulous about it. Why should he care if his come drips on the expensive rug? Will sure as hell doesn’t. He picks up the already used washcloth and folds it over to the clean side before wiping himself down. </p>
<p>              He struggles into his now hopelessly wrinkled clothes and carefully leaves the study, turning off the lights on his way out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>              When he gets back home, he slams his fist down so hard onto his desk that at first he thinks he’s broken a few fingers – and wouldn’t that be a fitting end to the whole, hideous evening?</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>             </p>
<p>              Eren’s words, “Are you going to be the bit on the side… the one his chauffeur drives to the summer house for the odd hour?” keep echoing around in Jean’s head. Why should he listen to Eren, anyway? So what if Will only wants him for sex? That’s all Jean wants, too, right?  And who cares if Will is engaged? He’s made it very clear that the relationship with his fiancé means nothing to him. Jean is also absolutely certain that if it’s not him, it will most definitely be someone else.</p>
<p>              But does that make it okay for <em>Jean </em>that it’s Jean?</p>
<p>              Fuck Eren! Why does he always ruin <em>everything</em>?</p>
<p>              But, ruined it is. Jean texts the only number he has for Will, types out (with his luckily unbroken fingers) a terse, “No, thank you,” and hopes it gets to him.</p>
<p>              It must, because no driver arrives the next day.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>              The next few weeks are miserable ones for Jean. No Will, of course. And no Eren, either. There’s still Marco. And Jean’s other friends. And work, and clubs, and long, solitary runs. But Eren has been a fixture in Jean’s life for so long, he leaves a gaping hole when he’s gone – just like the last time. Jean’s not sure this one’s ever going to be filled, though. </p>
<p>             </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>             </p>
<p>             </p>
<p>              He’s cooking dinner when his phone rings. Marco’s number. Jean wonders what it is. They had lunch together on Sunday, and Marco’s usually pretty busy at the start of his work week.</p>
<p>              ‘Hey, Jean, listen. I’m sorry-“</p>
<p>              “What?” Marco doesn’t usually sound so out of sorts.</p>
<p>              A short scuffling sound, and a different voice comes on the line.</p>
<p>              “I have two tickets for Liberio Friday night at The Wall. Do you wanna go?”</p>
<p>              “Wha- Jaeger? You fucker! Put Marco back on the phone.”</p>
<p>               Eren, of course, ignores this request.</p>
<p>              “I have two tickets for Liberio Friday night. Will you go with me?”</p>
<p>              “But… you don’t like Liberio.”</p>
<p>              “Do you wanna go?”</p>
<p>              “You think they’re a pretentious indie rock band with delusions of grandeur.”</p>
<p>              “Kirstein,” Eren growls. “Will you go with me?”</p>
<p>              There is a long silence.</p>
<p>              Is that Marco in the background, hissing, “Say it!” Or was it Armin’s voice? Who the hell is over there, anyway?</p>
<p>              Eren’s voice is quiet as he says, “I’m – I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>              Jean holds the phone out, staring at it. <em>What????!!</em></p>
<p>              Eren’s voice is even lower. “For being such a dick.”</p>
<p>              Jean is now openly gaping at the phone. “Uh.”</p>
<p>              “Will you come with me on Friday?”</p>
<p>              “Um.”</p>
<p>              “Please?”</p>
<p>              <em>What the fuck???!</em></p>
<p>              “Uh. Okay.”       </p>
<p>              “You will?” A thud, as though of someone being kicked. A muffled “Ouch!” and “Stop that!” Then, Eren’s voice again, slightly breathless. “I’ll pick you up at 9:30.”</p>
<p>             </p>
<p> </p>
<p>             </p>
<p>              Four weeks later, and Jean’s not quite sure what this new territory is, although it’s a definite improvement over prior hostilities. It’s not their old, familiar camaraderie.  Neither of them drops off at the other’s place unannounced. There are no phone calls or texts. But it’s definitely not dating either, and there have been no overtures of a romantic nature from either side. It seems to be, instead, a careful, somewhat formal, hanging out.</p>
<p>              It’s at the fourth such “event” that either one of them makes any mention of the Tybur debacle. They’re waiting in line for the movie when Eren says, “I’m sorry I was such a dick.”</p>
<p>              Jean immediately knows what he’s talking about. “Oh. Uh, that’s okay,” he says, as he’s jostled forward by the people behind them. “I was a dick too.” There’s something about being in the crowd, about not looking at Eren, that takes the pressure off. It somehow gives Jean the space to think and speak honestly. “You were right, anyway. On both counts. That it’s wrong to fuck Will when he’s with someone else, no matter how contrived the relationship. And that I probably did invite you with ulterior motives – so ulterior I didn’t even recognize them myself.”</p>
<p>              Jean can’t believe how good it is to get the words out. In a way, he feels like it finally exorcises that part of Eren from his life. He adds, with some relief, “But now I’ve gotten you out of my system, so we should be good. I’m glad we were able to… patch things up. I missed you. You're an - an important part of my life, even though you're such a moron."</p>
<p>             When he glances up, almost shyly, Eren has an odd look on his face. Jean doesn't know quite what to make of it. He feels suddenly embarrassed and very awkward.</p>
<p>              So he kicks Eren lightly in the back of the knee.</p>
<p>              "You jerk!" says Eren as he stumbles forward, bumping into the people in front of them.</p>
<p>               But the conversation definitely loosens things up further between them, and Jean feels more lighthearted than he has in awhile. He knows now that Eren will always be in his life as a friend, and that’s all he’ll ever be. And that’s okay.</p>
<p>             </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>              Three months in, they’re hanging at The Outer Wall, a dumpy annex of The Wall. There’s an indie singer in the downstairs lounge. He's not that good, but that turns out to be okay, because they’re standing in a dark corner in the back. It’s a crowded room, and Eren is right in front of him.  All Jean can think about for the rest of the set is Eren’s hot body pressed up against his, Eren’s smell in his nostrils.</p>
<p>              And then they move down the street to Club Maria, and Eren spends the entire time, not bopping around like he usually does, but with his back to Jean, leaning into him, grinding his ass into Jean’s crotch.</p>
<p>              Jean tries to push him away (admittedly not too forcefully), but Eren just turns his head, grins cheekily up at him, and keeps on doing it. He even takes Jean’s arms and wraps them around his waist. He stays like that, sinuously moving his hips to the beat, even though there’s no possible way he could mistake what’s going on in Jean’s pants.  </p>
<p>              They finally leave, in silence, Jean embarrassed and uncomfortable. When Eren pulls him forcefully into an alley, he doesn’t have it in him to let out more than a feeble, “What-?” before Eren has him smashed up against the wall. </p>
<p>               "I want to," says Eren hotly, gazing up at him. "For real this time. Okay?"</p>
<p>               Jean, in a haze of desire, can only nod uncertainly. Eren’s tongue is instantly down his throat, his hands tight on Jean’s waist, his thigh pressed urgently between Jean’s. Jean is utterly undone, gasping and grinding into Eren’s tense leg for all he’s worth. He comes with a loud cry right in the alley as Eren slumps into his shoulder, equally spent. They’re both complete messes on the drive home.</p>
<p>              Eren, of course, steals the first shower so Jean is stuck in his crusted over clothes until he can peel himself out of them and hop under the hot, cleansing water.</p>
<p>              But then…then he’s got naked Eren, all warm and flushed from the shower, spread out on his bed, fingers clenched in Jean’s hair, moaning loudly as Jean sucks him off.</p>
<p>              As Jean is licking the last drop of Eren’s come off his lip, Eren slides limply down to give him a languorous but very pleasurable hand job.</p>
<p>              He falls asleep with Eren pressed into his side.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>              Jean wakes up the next morning, slightly puzzled. Until he remembers the night before. He reaches out instinctively, but he already knows the other side of the bed is empty. He can feel it. His hand closes helplessly over empty sheets.</p>
<p>              Stupid. Stupid! <em>Not fucking again</em>! How could he be so ridiculously naïve as to think Eren really meant it this time?</p>
<p>              He blinks furiously, his eyes wet. A dark tunnel seems to be opening up in his chest, hollowing out his insides. <em>Shit.</em></p>
<p>              It’s only then that he hears the dull whistling sound from the other room, at the same time that a smell of burning hits his nostrils.</p>
<p>              Jean wonders at first if the sight of Eren’s head poking around the door is s figment of his imagination.</p>
<p>              But no, that’s definitely Eren’s voice, saying, “You finally up? I made breakfast. Do you want pancakes?" He grins. "The ones that are only slightly burnt?”</p>
<p>              And Jean is grateful for the dim light which he hopes hides his watery eyes. He clears his throat and hopes, also, that the scratchiness of his voice will be attributed to sleep as he croaks out, “Sure.”</p>
<p>              Eren steps further into the room, peering at him. “You looked so peaceful before, I didn’t want to wake you.” His brow furrows. “You okay?”</p>
<p>              He bends down to kiss Jean, softly, on the mouth.</p>
<p>              “Yeah,” Jean manages to get out, the imprint of Eren’s lips still on his. “Yeah, Eren. I’m okay.”</p>
<p>              Eren still looks uncertain, frowning slightly.</p>
<p>              Jean hastily gets a grip on himself. His hand shoots out, wrapping around Eren’s wrist, pulling him onto the bed. He rolls on top of Eren, pinning him down for a proper kiss.</p>
<p>              Eren laughs slightly, then opens up to the kiss, his arms twining around Jean.  </p>
<p>              Yeah, Jean is okay. Better than okay. Jean is up on fucking cloud nine.</p>
<p>              And of course he wants Eren’s only-slightly-burned pancakes for breakfast.</p>
<p> </p>
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